The Power of Purple

You can't fit a square peg in a round hole.  Why would you want to "fit in" when you were made to stand out?  I'm sure you've heard those sayings before. They've been weighing on my mind ever since I had lunch with a friend who indicated that while I am always encouraging, upbeat and supportive, I just don't quite fit in. He's right. I've never really fit in, even as a child. I wasted alot of years watering down who I was just so I could try to "fit in". Everyone wants to be liked, but the reality is that even when you're well liked, you may not always "fit in". Which brings me to the question of the day: Why do we try so hard to fit in? We're all unique. We're wired to be different; from the way we look, the way we think, how we process information, how we act, etc. Those tratis make us different from the start. Over the years, I've learned that when we try to fit in, on some unconscious level, we alter ...

Roughly 25 years ago my youngest son brought me a small cactus garden, including a dragon tail cactus when he vacationed with my mom. Over the past 25 years, this cactus grew. Not without it's own struggles. You see, I don't have the green thumb needed to keep indoor plants alive; regardless of how "maintenance free" they may be. I lost 2 of them fairly quickly, but babied this one to keep it alive. It seemed to thrive for almost 20 years. Then our daughter was diagnosed with breast cancer and I mostly forgot about it. I only remembered to water it when I went into the extra bedroom and saw it on the dresser. I "found" it again after she died and I was moving some of her things. It looked half dead, with drooping spines. I watered it and sat it next to a window hoping it would perk up.  I walked out of the room and promptly forgot about it...again. Fast forward 2 years. This spring, while still recovering from his own health scare, my husband was clearing...

Recently, while on my first ever kayak trip with two of my favorite friends in the whole wide world, who also happen to be family, I jumped off a cliff. Both figuratively and literally. As we floated and paddled down the river, catching up on life's happenings, talk turned to things we did as kids. We spent alot of time laughing about how we learned to swim in a spot very similar to the river we were floating. As kids, we were literally thrown into the water and told to swim. This was Mississippi in the early 1970's.  The water was only 6-8 ft deep, and there were adults in the water to "save" us if needed, but when you're 8 years old, it was terrifying. Reminiscing about our adventures when we were kids led to other moments that usually ended up with us in trouble. Looking back, the "trouble" was harmless and we had some good laughs. Then an innocent question about something in our childhoods led me to the first cliff jump, figuratively. Feeling a lev...

How often have you heard others use "it's not my problem" as an excuse to not step in, help, or be accountable for situations, conversations, or interactions that would help others? If you're 100% honest you'll admit you've used it yourself.  For example: You see the hungry, homeless person sitting on the street and walk past because "It's not my problem"...or is it? You hear a colleague being verbally abused/harrassed but you don't speak up because "It's not my problem"...or is it? You see an elderly person struggling to unload a cart of groceries in the checkout lane and roll your eyes, while tapping your foot impatiently because "It's not my problem"... or is it? You observe a child being subjected to horrible bullying and don't intervene because "It's not my problem"... or is it? Your unemployed friend struggles to get back on their feet while you distance yourself because "It's...

Ever since I was a little girl I have been taught to talk, act, and behave in what is considered "appropriate" ways. But in the past few years I've begun to question the thinking that is behind what I've been taught. I know the difference between right and wrong and strive to do what's right in everything I do. But my thoughts go deeper than right and wrong...they go to a place that questions differing opinions, cultures, religions, and everything else that makes us so diverse. Like just about everyone else on the planet, I've had more than my share of trauma and hardship over the course of my life, and those times have made me into who I am today. I've been told countless times that I'm brash, abrasive, cold, aloof, distant, manipulative, controlling, loud, and harsh. In reality, I'm the polar opposite of everyone of those assumptions, with the exception of being loud...I accept others for who they are, and always recognize others in a way that,...

Remember when you were in school and wanted to be part of the "in crowd"? Maybe you were already a member of that elite group and easily fit in. What made that group so elite? Was it the financial status of your parents, the attitudes of your friends, or was it a popularity contest and if you weren't a member you were considered an "outsider"? On the other hand, did you easily move between the "in" crowd, the "wannabe's" or the "outcasts"? Did you surround yourself with people of diverse backgrounds, cultures, and attitudes? This is what I call being an outsider...seeing who and what is out there while not conforming to social stereotypes or opinions and being yourself in all groups of people. In today's world, we're adults who still wrestle with the same types of groups, only this time it's on a different playing field. In the workplace we try to fit in by going with the flow and if we voice a differing opinion,...

I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I was never handed anything growing up. That's not to say I went without. I had everything I needed, but it was rare to receive what I wanted . I learned early in life to be grateful for what I had. I had enough to eat, I had clothes to wear, I had shoes, I went to good schools, I had shelter, and I was grateful. I grew up around wealth, not in it. I know what it's like to struggle with the decision to pay utilities or buy groceries. As a young, single mother, I faced those types of decisions several times. While there may have been programs available to help me, I was a little too independent and proud to ask for help. There were many times when my child ate, but I didn't. Thankfully, that was a short lived period in my life; but it's one of the most important times in my life. It was during that time that I realized rising up from where I had fallen was completely up to me. I made the necessary changes and began th...