Which Words Do You Speak?
We all say things without thinking about the impact they may have on others. We never really think about the power of our words, and if we do/did, we'd be much more careful in how we use them.
As children, we learned that "sticks and stones can break my bones; but words can never hurt me..." What a lie. Words can and do hurt. We see them hurt children who are bullied. We see it in adults who struggle with self esteem, self image, and self worth.
How many times have you been told things (or even told yourself) that make you feel "less than"? You know what I mean, things from childhood all the way into adulthood:
- "You'll never amount to anything."
- "Why can't you be as smart as your brother/sister?"
- " Why can't you do anything right?"
- "You're too sensitive, no one wants to be around a cry baby."
- "No one will want you, you're too fat."
- " You know, make up does wonders, but I don't think it will help you."
- "What makes you think you can get a job like that?"
- "You seriously didn't think you were good enough to get that job/promotion do you?"
- "You need to grow thicker skin."
- "If you're really my friend then you'll _______."
- "You're not buying that are you? That color/style looks hideous."
Have you ever said something in a conversation and the other person's tone immediately changed? Did you address it? Or did you move on as if nothing changed? We're so focused on our own thoughts, ideas and opinions that we forget that others may not think, feel, or even agree with anything we say. Here are some things to consider:
- Do you know the other person/group well enough to be blunt or sarcastic?
- Do you intentionally use words that build trust?
- Do you ask thoughtful questions to gain a deeper and better understanding of differing opinions, ideas, and thoughts?
- Do you acknowledge that others hear and process information differently? Some may hear a statement and think nothing of it; others can hear the very same statement and the impacts can linger.
Remember that long time friendship that just disappeared? Think about the last conversation. Which of you most likely said something that made the other walk away? What if you intentionally speak words that lift others? Especially when you disagree. There's so much division these days, all because of words that are used to tear down and destroy. I'd rather say things that reflect my belief in others. Things like:
- "You work really hard and it's noticed."
- "You can achieve that goal. Just stay focused and keep moving forward."
- "You may have to adjust things a little, but you can get it done."
- "What if you did _____ instead of how you're currently doing things?"
- "Have you thought of _______?"
- "Help me to understand your point of view. I just can't see it from my perspective."
- "Your voice is your power. Never lose it."
- "You will be amazing in your new job/career!"
- "You don't need makeup, you''re beautiful without it."
Relationships and people flourish when we speak words of life, and they quickly burn out when we speak words of defeat. Which words do you speak?
.
Comments
Post a Comment