Who Has Your Back?

For the past couple of weeks, at night, my dog has begun to sleep fully stretched out and pressed firmly against my back. She's always been protective, but this is a new thing for her. It's almost like she's telling me "Don't worry momma, I've got your back." 

That got me to thinking...
Who else has my back? Or more importantly, who has your back? Who surrounds you? Who includes you? Who accepts you as you are, not who they want you to be? Who would drop everything to help you without being asked? Who would make sure you have enough to eat if you were forced to choose between paying rent or buying groceries? Who would be there to pick you up (literally) when life continues to deliver the punch to the gut that brings you to your knees?


If you can't answer, it's ok. I have a hard time answering this too. Five years ago, I would be naming names without hesitation. Today, it's a struggle to come up with more than one. As time changes, so do our relationships. Some we outgrow, some leave us, some think "new friends" are better than those that have been there for many years, and some we have to walk away from because it was one sided. 

I remember while growing up both my mom and grandma had a small group of friends that would show up on Saturday mornings. They would sit in the kitchen and talk for hours over coffee or ice tea. Sometimes, they would bring mom and granny jars of jelly, casseroles, fresh produce and other things. Sometimes it was my mom or grandma that gave whatever they had to their friends. The celebrations of just being together were fun to watch and observe too. Laughter was always present, and there was an element of comfort and safety for everyone on those Saturday mornings. (It's probably why my own kitchen was always, and still is, a safe place for anyone who visits). Many years later, I learned these types of friendships began during the Depression. Because there was no work, no money, and very little food, neighborhood women would gather together to help each other with chores, meals, and clothing. These women started out neighbors, but the necessity of the times gave them the opportunity to build life long friendships. These women literally had each others backs and refused to let anyone fall. It didn't matter if it was good times or bad; if it happened to one, it happened to them all.  

What a concept...providing a safety net for your friends. Ensuring that regardless of what happens there will be someone beside you to make sure you're never going to face anything alone. These days, that type of friendship is hard to find, yet it's desperately needed.  With the rise of depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues, it's scary how technology "connects" us, yet in reality drives isolation by creating a false sense of "connection". Yes, technology has its place, but real human relationships and friendships are not sustained with text messages or emojis. They're sustained through real, authentic conversations. 

Now that I have you thinking, here's a challenge...

Reach out and connect with each of the friends who you think will always have your back. I don't mean by text or instant message either...I mean face to face; over a cup of coffee or lunch. Put away your phone and be present in the moment with them. If you're not local, then video chat, but make sure you're both visible. Get to know them all over again. Find out what they like, where they are in their life, what their dreams and life goals might be.  

Real conversations are worth the time and effort you put into them. You'll reconnect with friends and learn what's new in their lives, and they'll learn what's new in yours. You'll find the friends who will "have  your back" and those who won't. Bless and release the ones who won't, and be thankful for the time they were part of your life. 

Life is busy, and time is valuable and precious. Surround yourself only with those friends who "have your back".