Value over Visibility...
Over the past three months, I've started this blog several times; and several times I scrapped everything and walked away. Why?
I felt it wouldn't deliver enough value to anyone who reads it. The more I tried to flush it out, the more irritated and frustrated I became. The words wouldn't flow in the way I thought would draw anyone in, and they certainly didn't "feel" right. After a heartfelt conversation with a good friend who gave me the kick in the pants I needed, I realized, again, that the value I deliver is more than enough. I had somehow let the recent opinions and voices from others affect the way I looked at the value i bring to others. So I began to put my thoughts into something that, I hope, helps others take a new and different look at the value they bring to this world and begin to see that they should never settle for anything less than what they want to achieve.
In January, during a conversation, my value and worth were questioned. Not in a terribly bad way, but there was a definite undertone that I, as a person, was "less than." I was told I should re-evaluate my values and lower my standards because I would never be "extraordinary" enough to achieve the goals I have for my life. I spoke up...boldly...and probably a little more loudly than I intended, that "regardless of what you and others may think, I know my value and worth. Every bit of it is determined solely by me. My value is in everything I do and say - and I refuse to settle for anything less. If you think there's nothing else but this role for me...you're sadly mistaken." The response I received was "You really believe that...?" And the light bulb in my head went off...I realized in that moment, that while my value and worth was being marginalized, the person I was speaking with actually believes that if you don't hold a certain "status", title, or have alot of visibility within the "sacred" circle; other options aren't available and one must be willing to reduce their value and worth, "settling" for what's offered.
I've lost count of how many times I've heard friends say, "I'd seriously look for something else - but I can't afford to leave this..." My immediate response is "Why do you think you can't find something you want that's better? You bring more than enough value... " The response is almost always the same..."I just can't". I can relate. 12 years ago I was guilty of this same response and type of thinking. But on one particularly frustrating day, someone I highly respect; the one who encouraged my "always reach higher" way of thinking, said "You do know it's ok to outgrow where you are standing and move into something new, don't you?" That was my first step in understanding that your value is not worth "settling". Under any circumstance or for any reason.
Did you know that when you settle, you're convincing yourself to accept less than what you deserve? You are effectively undermining your skills, confidence, and most importantly, your self esteem. When you consistently tell yourself that you need to do___ because of budget, job, family, etc. and you don't pursue what you're really capable of - you're settling. You're justifying your excuses while reducing your value and settling for mediocre and average; and all you will ever have is mediocre and average.
Now, let's go a little deeper. Do you know that others play a role in how you perceive your own value? Every single time you hear someone say "That's great, but..." or "Do you really think you'll..." or even "I really hope you believe that..." Whatever you did, said, suggested, etc is going to be reduced to "less than" and somewhere in the back of your mind, your negative self talk begins. You actually start to second guess yourself. Then you convince yourself that what was said was justified, maybe even right, and your reality begins to match your thoughts. You've begun to "settle".
Do you think your value is found only in what you do? It's not...it's in everything that makes you - YOU. It's in how you think. It's in how you speak. It's in how you communicate. It's in how you treat others. It's in the very fabric of your being.
So...what is your value worth? Let me tell you what it's worth:
One final thought is a quote that made me stop and think deeply about the value I provide. My value is not based in how visible I am, but in the difference I make in the lives of others.
"Do not write yourself out of the story by confusing value with visibility". - Loui Giglio
I felt it wouldn't deliver enough value to anyone who reads it. The more I tried to flush it out, the more irritated and frustrated I became. The words wouldn't flow in the way I thought would draw anyone in, and they certainly didn't "feel" right. After a heartfelt conversation with a good friend who gave me the kick in the pants I needed, I realized, again, that the value I deliver is more than enough. I had somehow let the recent opinions and voices from others affect the way I looked at the value i bring to others. So I began to put my thoughts into something that, I hope, helps others take a new and different look at the value they bring to this world and begin to see that they should never settle for anything less than what they want to achieve.
In January, during a conversation, my value and worth were questioned. Not in a terribly bad way, but there was a definite undertone that I, as a person, was "less than." I was told I should re-evaluate my values and lower my standards because I would never be "extraordinary" enough to achieve the goals I have for my life. I spoke up...boldly...and probably a little more loudly than I intended, that "regardless of what you and others may think, I know my value and worth. Every bit of it is determined solely by me. My value is in everything I do and say - and I refuse to settle for anything less. If you think there's nothing else but this role for me...you're sadly mistaken." The response I received was "You really believe that...?" And the light bulb in my head went off...I realized in that moment, that while my value and worth was being marginalized, the person I was speaking with actually believes that if you don't hold a certain "status", title, or have alot of visibility within the "sacred" circle; other options aren't available and one must be willing to reduce their value and worth, "settling" for what's offered.
I've lost count of how many times I've heard friends say, "I'd seriously look for something else - but I can't afford to leave this..." My immediate response is "Why do you think you can't find something you want that's better? You bring more than enough value... " The response is almost always the same..."I just can't". I can relate. 12 years ago I was guilty of this same response and type of thinking. But on one particularly frustrating day, someone I highly respect; the one who encouraged my "always reach higher" way of thinking, said "You do know it's ok to outgrow where you are standing and move into something new, don't you?" That was my first step in understanding that your value is not worth "settling". Under any circumstance or for any reason.
Did you know that when you settle, you're convincing yourself to accept less than what you deserve? You are effectively undermining your skills, confidence, and most importantly, your self esteem. When you consistently tell yourself that you need to do___ because of budget, job, family, etc. and you don't pursue what you're really capable of - you're settling. You're justifying your excuses while reducing your value and settling for mediocre and average; and all you will ever have is mediocre and average.
Now, let's go a little deeper. Do you know that others play a role in how you perceive your own value? Every single time you hear someone say "That's great, but..." or "Do you really think you'll..." or even "I really hope you believe that..." Whatever you did, said, suggested, etc is going to be reduced to "less than" and somewhere in the back of your mind, your negative self talk begins. You actually start to second guess yourself. Then you convince yourself that what was said was justified, maybe even right, and your reality begins to match your thoughts. You've begun to "settle".
Do you think your value is found only in what you do? It's not...it's in everything that makes you - YOU. It's in how you think. It's in how you speak. It's in how you communicate. It's in how you treat others. It's in the very fabric of your being.
So...what is your value worth? Let me tell you what it's worth:
- It's worth being courageous and bold enough to always speak your truth.
- It's worth standing up and acknowledging that wherever you may be in your life there is always, and I mean always, another place to stand that's better for you than where you are currently standing.
- It's worth stating that in all things, you hold the power over your value.
- It's worth knowing that in all things, your value itself is worthy and you should never be led to even remotely entertain the thought of "settling."
One final thought is a quote that made me stop and think deeply about the value I provide. My value is not based in how visible I am, but in the difference I make in the lives of others.
"Do not write yourself out of the story by confusing value with visibility". - Loui Giglio
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