Being fully present
Recently, during a lively and very entertaining conversation, I noticed that one friend wasn't really aware or paying attention to what was being said, although he had actually started the conversation. I had an "aha" moment...I realized that many times when engaging others we fail to focus in the moment. How many times have you been in a conversation and within 5 minutes of it ending, cannot remember half of what was said? What was the reason for your inattention? Boredom with the topic? Complete disinterest in the other person? Was the "to do" list in your head running 100 miles an hour?
Think of the possibilities that will occur if we take the time to fully focus our attention on the other person in that moment of exchange. Just realizing and being aware that the other person truly wants to connect with you in some way can be pretty profound. By slowing down, actively listening, being attentive and, most of all, considerate of their feelings is what "makes" or "breaks" the interaction.
We all have busy lives and get caught up in the things that "have to get done today". Think about the many times throughout the day we brush off or ignore someone who asks for a minute of our time. I can vividly remember times when I needed to connect with those most important to me only to get the brush off. I have since realized most of the time they simply weren't fully present in those moments or simply chose not to interact. I am just as guilty as they are. There are many times that I did it this same thing to others.
Multitasking, especially when conversations are needed, is never an effective way to interact with someone. It easily gives the appearance the other person isn't important or worthy of your time. Not to mention that you don't really hear what's being said and things have to be repeated over and over.
When someone starts to engage me in a conversation, I stop what I'm doing, step back from what my mind is focused on, and shift my attention to the conversation at hand. Only then am I able to fully engage in what the other person has to say. It's not always easy; in fact I've been told many times that I appear flustered when someone stops by and wants to speak to me. I'm not flustered, I'm literally switching my attention to the person in front of me (whether in person, on the phone, virtually, or IM, etc). Being very experessive it's easy for others to confuse my "switching gears".
When you are able to shift your focus and give your full attention to the other person, you see, hear, and feel things that you would have missed if you were only vaguely involved. Do you notice the tone in the voice? The body language? The subtle undertones that things may be deeper than the current conversation? Can you tell by looking at the other person if they are struggling with something, want to celebrate something, or whether they just need a friend for a minute or two? If you are fully present and focused you'll notice everything, and you'll remember it.
Think of the impact we would have if we put forth the effort to ensure that every person we interact with is met with focus and fully in the moment. They will leave the conversation feeling as if they are the most important person in the world to you. It takes a conscious effort to move to that place of being fully present, but once you've done it a few times and reap the rewards, it can easily become routine and happen at the unconscious level.
A simple moment of your time may be the world to someone else. Be fully present in all interactions and you will see the impact you have on this world.
Think of the possibilities that will occur if we take the time to fully focus our attention on the other person in that moment of exchange. Just realizing and being aware that the other person truly wants to connect with you in some way can be pretty profound. By slowing down, actively listening, being attentive and, most of all, considerate of their feelings is what "makes" or "breaks" the interaction.
We all have busy lives and get caught up in the things that "have to get done today". Think about the many times throughout the day we brush off or ignore someone who asks for a minute of our time. I can vividly remember times when I needed to connect with those most important to me only to get the brush off. I have since realized most of the time they simply weren't fully present in those moments or simply chose not to interact. I am just as guilty as they are. There are many times that I did it this same thing to others.
Multitasking, especially when conversations are needed, is never an effective way to interact with someone. It easily gives the appearance the other person isn't important or worthy of your time. Not to mention that you don't really hear what's being said and things have to be repeated over and over.
When someone starts to engage me in a conversation, I stop what I'm doing, step back from what my mind is focused on, and shift my attention to the conversation at hand. Only then am I able to fully engage in what the other person has to say. It's not always easy; in fact I've been told many times that I appear flustered when someone stops by and wants to speak to me. I'm not flustered, I'm literally switching my attention to the person in front of me (whether in person, on the phone, virtually, or IM, etc). Being very experessive it's easy for others to confuse my "switching gears".
When you are able to shift your focus and give your full attention to the other person, you see, hear, and feel things that you would have missed if you were only vaguely involved. Do you notice the tone in the voice? The body language? The subtle undertones that things may be deeper than the current conversation? Can you tell by looking at the other person if they are struggling with something, want to celebrate something, or whether they just need a friend for a minute or two? If you are fully present and focused you'll notice everything, and you'll remember it.
Think of the impact we would have if we put forth the effort to ensure that every person we interact with is met with focus and fully in the moment. They will leave the conversation feeling as if they are the most important person in the world to you. It takes a conscious effort to move to that place of being fully present, but once you've done it a few times and reap the rewards, it can easily become routine and happen at the unconscious level.
A simple moment of your time may be the world to someone else. Be fully present in all interactions and you will see the impact you have on this world.
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